“If your life was complete, you’d be dead.” ― Joshua Wisenbaker
I have had my midlife crisis…in fact, I think it started around age 44. I went through all the stages, wanting to be younger, regret for all I had not done, blaming others for my shortfalls in life, living recklessly, questioning everything, and wondering what the hell is wrong with me and everyone else! Now, 5 years later, I feel I’m coming out of it…thank god too, I’m exhausted. I do not know what happens to people at a certain age, but I do know this…I will not be done living until I’m in the grave.
“No shit” you say…of course you’ll be done living because you will be in a grave! No, I mean I will not be done LIVING until I am in the grave.
Over the past year I have worked, watched, and learned. I have sat and watched my 60 year old retired neighbors complain about the world, but yet do not get involved to change it. I have worked at opening myself up to whatever I am supposed to do to make a difference. I learned that I have a lot to do and that I am able.
I have gotten up… and decided that I will not just be another face in the crowd. If every one person does just one thing, it adds up to a big thing, like bubbles in the sand. I, yes, just me, WILL make a difference. I do not listen to the chatter anymore. I search for the truth and I am going to use my years instead of letting them use me.
Perhaps I am a late bloomer, I did not protest anything while in college, I did not discover anything groundbreaking in my 20s, I earned a living in my 30s, and in my 40s I had a kid and lost my mind. But, unlike so many others nearing 50… I am not 10 years away from disengagement…I am just getting started.
Because Until I am in the grave…I will not be lost in the façade of the crowd.
photo: K.K.
A Face in the Crowd
4 Comments
I so relate to this. I’ve been mourning my ‘lost’ and ‘wasted’ years…but thankfully coming out of that period. There is still time to do whatever it is I’ve regretting not doing. I’m not sure how much time, but that’s not the point. I’m still here, so I’m not done. 🙂
Exactly! Age is only a number, and we still have time to accomplish a lot!!
I think I am having my mid life crises at 30, but I think my life unfolds slowly too, I have only just began discovering myself at 30 and will probably if anything also have my first child in my 40s. I love this pace though. I feel like i have only just began and won’t stop living until I am in the grave.
Thanks for the comment…makes me feel good. I am embracing where I’m at now and not worrying about where I’ve been, just moving on with a lot of drive!!