“There was a long hard time when I kept far from me the remembrance of what I had thrown away when I was quite ignorant of its worth.”
― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

It is hard to let go of what you cherish, something that was so meaningful that you did not want it to be a memory…it should last forever..

There is the sticky thought that you should have appreciated it more…done it more…done it different…

Maybe it was thrown away due to ignorance…or perhaps youth…circumstance…

Maybe it was not thrown away at all…just passage of time…change…no chance for proper goodbye…

We keep that memory hidden deep so we do not have to feel it…the cut of a ribbon in time…unprepared…

It was 35 years later and a horseback ride…the energy… the smells… the freedom… the feel of the saddle…

It was a flood…unprepared for the onslaught…tears…laughter…regret…

…Love…

It was only yesterday… wind in the hair… a golden horse…freedom…joy…

A grandfather watching and guiding…teaching…laughing…

To have only done it more…different…again…

“I can only note that the past is beautiful because one never realises an emotion at the time. It expands later, and thus we don’t have complete emotions about the present, only about the past.”
― Virginia Woolf